Sacred friendship神圣的友誼

The other day I went into the bar of a railway station and，taking a glass of bear，I sat down at a little table by myself to meditate upon the necessary but tragic isolation of the human soul. I began my meditation by consoling myself with the truth that something in common runs through all nature，but I went on to consider that this cut no ice，and that the heart needed something more. I might by long research have discovered some third term a little less hackneyed than these two，when fate，or some fostering star，sent me a tawny silky，long-haired cat.
If it be true that nations have the cats they deserve，then the English people deserve well in cats，for there are none so prosperous or so friendly in the world. But even for an English cat this cat was exceptionally friendly and fine——especially friendly. It leapt at one graceful bound into my lap，nestled there，put out an engaging right front paw to touch my arm with a pretty timidity by way of introduction，rolled up at me an eye of bright but innocent affection，and then smiled a secret smile of approval.
No man could be timid after such an approach as not to make some manner of response. So did I. I even took the liberty of stroking Amathea(for by that name did I receive this vision)，and thought I began this gesture in a respectful fashion，after the best models of polite deportment with strangers，I was soon lending it some warmth，for I was touched to find that I had a friend;yes，even here，at the ends of the tubes in S.W. 99. I proceeded(as is right)from caress to speech，and said，“Amathea，most beautiful of cats，why have you deigned to single me out for so much favor?Did you recognize in me a friend to all that breathes，or were you yourself suffering form loneliness(though I take it you are near your own dear home)，or is there pity in the hearts of animals as there is in the hearts of some humans?What，then，was your motive?Or am I，indeed，foolish to ask，and not rather to take whatever good comes to me in whatever way form the gods?”
To these questions Amathea answered with a loud purring noise，expressing with closed eyes of ecstasy her delight in the encounter.
“I am more than flattered，Amathea，”said I，by way of answer：“I am consoled. I did not know that there was in the world anything breathing and moving，let alone so tawny-perfect，who would give companionship for its own sake and seek out，through deep feeling，some one companion out of all living kind. If you do not address me in words I know the reason and I commend it;for in words lie the seeds of all dissension，and love at its most profound is silent. At least，I read that in a book，Amathea;yes，only the other day. But I confess that the book told me nothing of those gestures which are better than words，or of that caress which I continue to bestow upon you with all the gratitude of my poor heart.”
To this Amathea made a slight gesture of acknowledgement——not disdainful——wagging her head a little，and then settling it down in deep content.
“Oh，beautiful-haired Amathea，many have praised you before you found me to praise you，and many will praise you，some in your own tongue，when I am no longer held in the bonds of your presence. But none will praise you more sincerely. For there is not a man living who knows better than I that the four charms of a cat lie in its closed eyes，its long and lovely hair，its silence，and even its affected love.”
But at the word affected Amathea raised her head，looked up at me tenderly，once more put forth her paw to touch my arm，and then settled down again to a purring beatitude.
“You are secure，”said I sadly：“mortality is not before you. There is in your complacency no foreknowledge of death nor even of separation. And for that reason，Cat，I welcome you the more. For if there has been given to your kind this repose in common living，why，then，we men also may find it by following your example and not considering too much what may be to come and not remembering too much what has been and will never return. Also，I thank you，for this，Amathea，my sweet Euplokamos”(for I was becoming a little familiar through an acquaintance of a full five minutes and from the absence of all recalcitrance)，“that you have reminded me of my youth，and in a sort of shadowy way，a momentary way，have restored it to me. For there is an age，a blessed youthful age(O my Cat)even with the miserable race of men，when all things are consonant with the life of the body，when sleep is regular and long and deep，when enmities are either unknown or a subject for rejoicing and when the whole of being is lapped in hope as you are now lapped on my lap，Amathea. Yes，we also，we of the doomed race，know peace. But whereas you possess it from blind kittenhood to that last dark day so mercifully short with you，we grasp it only for a very little while. But I would not sadden you by the mortal plaint. That would be treason indeed，and a vile return for your goodness. What!When you have chosen me out of seven London millions upon whom to confer the tender solace of heart，when you have proclaimed yourself so suddenly to be my dear，shall I introduce you to the sufferings of those of whom you know nothing save that they feed you，house you and pass you by?At least you do not take us for gods，as do the dogs，and the more am I humbly beholden to you for this little service of recognition——and something more.”
Amathea slowly raised herself upon her four feet，arched her back，yawned，looked up at me with a smile sweeter than ever and then went round and round，preparing for herself a new couch upon my coat，where on she settled and began once more to purr in settled ecstasy.
Already had I made sure that a rooted and anchored affection had come to me from out the emptiness and nothingness of the world and was to feed my soul henceforward;already had I changed the mood of long years and felt a conversion towards the life of things，an appreciation，a cousinship with the created light——and all that through one new link of loving kindness——when whatever it is that dashes the cup of bliss from the lips of mortal man(Tupper)up and dashed it good and hard. It was the Ancient Enemy who put the fatal sentence into my heart，for we are the playthings of the greater powers，and surely some of them are evil.
“You will never leave me. Amathea，”I said：“I will respect your sleep and we will sit here together through all uncounted time，I holding you in my arms and you dreaming of the fields of Paradise. Nor shall anything part us. Amathea;you are my cat and I am your human. Now and onwards into the fullness of peace.”
Then it was that Amathea lifted herself once more，and with delicate，discreet，unweighted movement of perfect limbs leapt lightly to the floor as lovely as a wave. She walked slowly away form me without so much as looking back over her shoulder;she had another purpose in her mind;and as she so gracefully and so majestically neared the door which she was seeking，a short，unpleasant man standing at the bar said“Puss，Puss，Puss!”and stooped to scratch her gently behind the ear. With what a wealth of singular affection，pure and profound，did she not gaze up at him，and then rub herself against his leg in token and external expression of a sacramental friendship that should never die.
前些日子，我走進(jìn)火車站一家酒吧，買了一杯啤酒便獨(dú)自在一張小桌旁坐下，默想孤獨(dú)的靈魂雖屬必然卻也可悲。開始想時(shí)還以為萬物總有某種相同之處，尚可聊以自慰，不過繼而一想，這不解決問題，人心還需要更多的東西。正當(dāng)我可能通過長期研究發(fā)現(xiàn)不象靈魂、人心二詞那么陳腐的第三個(gè)術(shù)語時(shí)，忽然，命運(yùn)或福星給我送來一只毛光如絲的茶色長毛貓。
各國的人都有值得他們稱道的貓，如果此話不假，那么英國人則應(yīng)當(dāng)好好稱道他們的貓，因?yàn)槭郎蠜]有如此順?biāo)烊绱擞焉频呢�。但即便就英國貓而言，我這只貓格外友善聰明——尤其是友善。它輕輕一跳，跳到我的懷里，舒舒服服安頓下來，伸出可愛的右前爪，非常小心地碰碰我的胳膊，算是做了介紹，那眼光里充滿乖巧然而天真的友愛，打量我，然后暗暗一笑，表示認(rèn)可了。
經(jīng)過這般親近之后，誰也不會膽小得不作某種回答。我作了回答。我甚至冒昧地?fù)崮Π�瑪西�?我正因這名字才有這番幻想);雖然我以尊重的方式開始作此表示，完全以最佳的對待陌生者的有禮態(tài)度為典范，但很快就增加了幾分親熱，因?yàn)槲野l(fā)現(xiàn)我有了一個(gè)朋友而感動不已;是的，即便在這里，西南99路的地鐵終點(diǎn)站。我繼而(作法是得當(dāng)?shù)?由撫摩轉(zhuǎn)入說話，說道：“阿瑪西亞，美麗之極的貓，你為了得到寵愛為何偏偏挑中了我呢?是你看出我是一切有生命之物的朋友，還是你自己也因孤獨(dú)而痛苦(盡管我相信你離你自己心愛的家很近)，還是因?yàn)閯游镏�心如同某些人的心一樣有憐憫之情?那么，你的動機(jī)是什么?我這樣問實(shí)在是蠢，天神以任何方式賜給我的任何幸福難道我反而不愿接受了?”
對這些問題，阿瑪西亞都已很響的咕嚕聲作了回答，以欣喜的緊閉的眼睛表示它對這次邂逅相逢感到高興。
“我無比榮幸，阿瑪西亞，”我說，算是回答：“我得到了安慰。我原先不知道世上有生命能活動的東西，當(dāng)然更不用說有如此完美的茶色貓了，會為了自身起見愿意獻(xiàn)出友誼，而且以奧妙的感情從各種有生之物當(dāng)中尋求某一個(gè)同伴。如果你不用言語跟我交談，我知道是何原因并且表示稱贊;因?yàn)橐磺蟹制绲母�源就在于言語，而最意味深長的友愛總是無言的。至少，這是我從一本書上讀到的，阿瑪西亞;是啊，就在前些日子。但是我承認(rèn)，我這勝過言詞的表示不是這本書告訴我的，我以我脆弱的心靈的感激之情繼續(xù)向你表示的愛撫也不是這本書告訴我的。”
阿瑪西亞對此略表謝意——并無輕蔑之意——微微地?fù)u搖頭，然后稱心如意地安頓下來。
“啊，美麗的阿瑪西亞，你發(fā)現(xiàn)我贊美你之前已有許多人贊美過你了，當(dāng)我不再隸屬于你時(shí)，將要贊美你的還會多得很，有的會用你的語言贊美你。但是不會有人比我更真誠地贊美你。因?yàn)�，世上沒有一個(gè)活著的人比我更了解貓的四大魅力就在于它那緊閉的眼睛，漂亮的長毛，無言，甚至還在于它那種假情假意的友愛。”
阿瑪西亞聽到“假”這個(gè)字時(shí)，抬起頭，敏感地仰望著我，又伸出右前爪碰碰我的胳膊，然后又安頓下來，咕嚕咕嚕，好不幸福。
“你是安全的啊，”我哀傷地說，“你面前不存在人終有一死的問題。你自得其樂，對生離死別都無先見之明。唯其如此，貓啊，我才越發(fā)歡迎你。因?yàn)�，如果你們貓類樂于在塵世悠然自得，那么，我們?nèi)祟愐苍S能通過效法你們，不過多考慮將來，也不過多回憶以往那早已逝去而且永不再回來的一切，從而悠然自得。還有我還要感謝你，阿瑪西亞，我可愛的尤普洛卡謨(相識已有整整五分鐘，也未見有何不順從的表示，所以我變得親熱些了)。”你使我想起了我的青年時(shí)代，你夢幻般地、瞬息間地把我的青年時(shí)代歸還給了我。因?yàn)椋?哦，我的貓啊!)就連不幸的人類也有過一個(gè)時(shí)代，一個(gè)幸福的青年時(shí)代。那時(shí)候，萬物皆與肉體生活協(xié)調(diào)一致，睡眠有規(guī)律而且睡得久，睡得熟;仇恨或是無從知曉或是成了尋樂的話題;整個(gè)生命躺在希望的懷抱中，就象你現(xiàn)在安睡在我膝上一樣，阿瑪西亞。是的，我們，我們這受詛咒的人類也懂得安寧平和。不過，你們從懵懵懂懂、活蹦亂跳的幼年到幸好極其短暫的那個(gè)倒霉的末日，都保持著安寧而不變，而我們把握住安寧而不變，而我們把握住安寧的時(shí)間卻極其短暫。但我不愿以生命必有終結(jié)的哀嘆使你悲傷。那樣做實(shí)在是不忠，是以惡行回報(bào)你的善意。什么!既然你從倫敦七百萬大眾中挑中我是為了給我以好心的安慰，既然你如此突然的表示要做我的愛畜，那么我能不能把一些人——你只知道他們給你吃讓你住或從不過問你，此外你對他們一無所知——的苦難對你講一講，行不行?狗是把我們看作偶像的，至少你不把我們看作偶像，因而我越發(fā)感激你的這般賞識——以及其他種種。“
阿瑪西亞慢慢地站起來，弓弓背，打個(gè)哈欠，帶著比剛才更美妙的微笑望著我，然后走來走去，已想好把我的上衣當(dāng)作它的新床榻，在上衣上安頓下來，又開始咕嚕咕嚕，好不愜意。
我早就確信，從那空虛無聊的人世，我已得到根深蒂固的愛心，并將從此安慰我的心;我已改變了長年的心緒，對萬物的生命的看法有了轉(zhuǎn)變，開始有了一種鑒賞，有一種跟福祉很親密的關(guān)系——這一切都通過新的慈愛之環(huán)而來——忽然，不是什么東西這時(shí)撞翻凡人嘴邊的至福之杯，并把它撞得粉碎。那時(shí)惡魔撒旦把致命的判決進(jìn)了我心里，因?yàn)槲覀兪菣?quán)力更大者的玩物，而有些權(quán)力更大者當(dāng)然是邪惡的。
“你永遠(yuǎn)不離開我，阿瑪西亞，”我說，“我要關(guān)懷你的安睡，我們要永無盡期地一起坐在這里，我抱著你，你夢到樂園的田野。也不會有什么把我們分開，阿瑪西亞;你是我的貓，我是你的人。我們永不分離，從現(xiàn)在起一直到彼此都沉浸在無限的安寧之中。”
就在此時(shí)，阿瑪西亞又站了起來，輕輕一跳，跳到地上，那四腳熟練，動作優(yōu)雅、謹(jǐn)慎、輕飄，美如波浪。它慢慢離我而去，甚至不回頭看看我;它心里另有打算;當(dāng)它風(fēng)度優(yōu)雅、大搖大擺的快到它找的門時(shí)，站在酒吧柜臺旁的一個(gè)令人討厭的矮個(gè)子說：“小貓咪，小貓咪，小貓咪!”接著彎下腰輕輕地搔它的后頸。它抬頭注視他，那種神情充滿無比的愛，即純樸又奧妙，然后在那人的腿上擦一擦，算是象征了并從外表上表示了神圣的友誼是永存的。